For two years, Robert Burale – who is a panelist on Citizen TV’s Fashion Watch Show – was the perfect gentleman and the accomplished television reporter. He looked good. He had a girlfriend he treated with love and respect and showered with money and gifts.
But beneath the veneer of perfection he hid a deep, dark secret: he suffered from sexual addiction.
Robert successfully managed to keep his addiction under wraps for the most part of his relationship, but in late 2005, the cat jumped out of the bag.
“I began to have financial difficulties and get into debt. My prospective in-laws found out that I’d borrowed a huge chunk of money and they told my then girlfriend,” he says.
At first, she vowed to stand by him, but as Robert got into more debt in order to sustain his flashy lifestyle and addiction, she started to get suspicious.
“I had reached a point where I no longer had as much money as I used to. My girlfriend wondered what was going wrong, but I convinced her that I was just saving for a big investment plan.”
Unknown to his girlfriend, Robert’s income was going towards settling debts and paying bills at his favourite strip joint in Langata. His addiction was such that he could spend as much as Sh100 000 in one night in such clubs.
The relationship deteriorated when rumours began to spread about his visiting these clubs. His girlfriend did not take the rumours lightly; she began to keep tabs on his evening activities and it did not take long before he was nabbed.
“I suspect that someone might have seen me and my boys stroll into the club and called her. She caught me red-handed stacking money onto a stripper,” Robert says.
Although in the next few weeks he attempted to plead his innocence and salvage his relationship, his goose was already cooked.
“She just couldn’t take it and opted to leave,” says the former host of the popular TV travel reality show Kenya My Land.
Not many women would stomach their man being a sex addict, so her decision was understandable. In any case, Robert’s addiction was too far gone at this point.
“I was in my fifth year of addiction, having started out in the United Kingdom while studying for my degree in business management at Demontfort University,” he admits.
The addiction was fuelled in part by his peers and the attention his affluence accorded him.
“At first, I wanted to fit in. My boys were doing it and I did not want to be left out. Moreover, African men seemed to be in demand, which boosted our egos,” Robert says, adding that although he felt messed up and wanted to stop, he always found himself going back to the strip clubs.
Eventually, it was debt that spurred his change.
“At times, while still a TV show host, I would sleep hungry because I had no money to get supper. My mother found this difficult to comprehend when she found out.”
In 2008, he became a born-again Christian and began his recovery at an evening class that was hosted by a church in Ngong.
Robert admits that he often wondered if he could ever be whole again: “Some people in the congregation said that I’d only changed because of my debt and that once I got on my feet again, I would relapse. I felt like I had too much baggage on my shoulders.”
After overcoming his addiction, Robert went on and got married. His marriage, though, did not last. In a recent TV interview, he revealed that he last had sex four years ago!
“I am saying this live on TV because no woman can come and say she had sex with me, I haven’t had any bodily contact with a woman since August 18 2013 .Mine is like a presidential term,” Robert revealed on the Let’s Talk Show.
On overcoming sexual addition he says: “From my experience, I know that it is possible for a sex addict or any other addict to overcome his addiction. Personally, I’m proud that since 2008, I have maintained a clean slate.”
